


We All Get What We Deserve

by FlyAbove



Series: Deserve [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Dean and Cas bicker, Dean wore TMNT masks, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Fluff, For the love of all that is holy PLEASE, M/M, Mary just help Dean with his emotions, Men of Letters Bunker, basically what I want to happen in S12, post s11 finale, they're basically married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 03:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7152098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyAbove/pseuds/FlyAbove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas have almost 8 years of things left unsaid, and Mary picks up on that quickly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We All Get What We Deserve

**Author's Note:**

> I've always thought if Mary came back it would help Dean a lot with fixing what John did to him. Especially when it came to his emotions. Also, the lack of Sam is entirely due to the fact that I wanted this to be set right after the finale, but i had no creative or realistic ways to bring him back from those Men of Letters people. Trust me, I want cute Team Free Will + Mary scenes as much as the next person. Let's hope Cas actually gets to work with Dean and Mary to save Sam. I believe in you, Dabb.

“I just...I still can’t believe it,” Dean said as he filled a cup with ice water, “I can’t believe it’s really you.”

“That’s the twelfth time you’ve told me that in the last hour, honey”, Mary smiled softly.

“I know, I know. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I can’t wait to tell Sam. As soon as he answers his damn phone,” Dean frowned. Sam rarely left a phone call unanswered. When he did, it was usually because he was in trouble.

“He probably still thinks I’m dead and turned off his phone. Dude's probably drinking himself sick,” Dean muttered under his breath. “I’ll try again later.”

Suddenly the sound of a door slamming rang through the bunker. Dean's head snapped up. “Sam?” He yelled. No answer. “Sammy?”

He ran to the main room with Mary following not far behind, and then stopped dead in his tracks.

“Cas.” Dean breathed.

Cas looked up, eyes puffy and swollen like he’s been crying all day. “Dean?”

“Yeah Cas, it’s me,” Dean smiled as he took a step toward Cas.

“No. You’re not real,” Cas backed away as if Dean offended him, “This is just another trick my mind is playing on me. You can’t be real. You died.”

Mary looked at Dean, confused.

“Cas, it’s really me. God and Amara saved me. I’m okay, just look at me.” Cas walked towards him hesitantly and Dean nodded.

“Dean,” Cas fell into Dean’s arms, wrapping himself around him. Relief washed over the both of them.

“It’s okay, Cas," Dean held him tight, not wanting to let go, "I’m here. I got you.”

\--

“You don’t know where he is?!” Dean yelled as he paced back and forth through the library.

“I was banished as soon as Sam and I walked into the bunker Dean. I had no way of knowing who took him. All I know is that it was a female human.” Cas bit back.

Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over his face defeated, “Okay. Okay. Well, we gotta go find him. I can call some hunters-“

“Dean," Cas interrupted, "Sam, Rowena, Crowley - they all think you’re dead. It might be safer if it stays that way."

“Damn it. Yeah, you’re right. We need a game plan,” Dean grabbed a stack of books and immediately started reading.

“I can try contacting Heaven. See if they can locate him,” Cas figured no one in Heaven wants anything to do with him, not after letting Lucifer loose. But if it meant saving Sam, he had to try.

“Yeah. Great. Thank you, Cas,” Dean put his face in his hands.

“We’ll find him Dean,” Cas sat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. It's always served as a comfort for Dean. "I promise."

Mary cleared her throat, causing both men to jump. “Hi. We haven’t been properly introduced yet, I’m Mary.” She reached out her hand.

Cas stood and shook her hand. “My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the lord. It's an honor to finally meet you.” Mary's eyes went wide.

Dean froze. He had planned on easing his mother into the fact that he’s friends with an angel, but Cas apparently had other plans.

“An angel? Like…God and Heaven angel? With wings and halos and togas?” Mary asked.

“Well, I think my wings are broken beyond repair and we haven’t worn togas in a few millennia. They are very freeing, though not that practical. But yes,” Cas stated bluntly. Sometimes Dean forgets how literal Cas can be.

“Wow.”

Cas smiled proudly and sat back down next to Dean.

“Are you…okay with this Mom?” Dean asked hesitantly. He knew if his dad were alive, he probably wouldn't approve of Dean befriending an angel. To him, angels would be just another monster to kill. Dean shudders at the idea of never knowing Cas.

“Okay? I’m ecstatic Dean! I always told you angels were watching over you. I knew it. He’s quite handsome too,” Mary smirked.

Dean face grew warm as he glanced at Cas. “Ah, well…it’s not like, we’re not-“

“We are not in a relationship. I’ve never been in one and Dean hasn’t had a steady one in a handful of years,” Cas stated.

“Gee thanks Cas,” Dean muttered, face turning bright red. “On that note, I’m going to get some shut eye. Mom, do you need any help with anything? Any extra pillows or blankets for your room?”

“I’m fine, honey. Thank you,” Mary said as Dean kissed her forehead.

“I’m going to rest as well. It was a long and grueling day of traveling. Goodnight, Mrs. Winchester.” Cas got up from his seat and followed Dean.

“Please, call me Mary. Goodnight, Cas,” Mary watched as Dean and Cas walked toward their bedrooms. She doesn’t miss Dean’s soft smile as he put his hand on the small of Cas’ back and whispered something in his ear.

\--

Dean woke up to the smell of bacon and laughter coming from the bunker’s kitchen. Groggily, he threw on a faded Metallica tee and jeans and started heading downstairs. As he got closer he realized his mom and Cas were laughing about _him_. So the obvious choice was to hide behind the door and eavesdrop.

“Oh he loved that little thing. He wouldn’t take it off for weeks. I had to bribe him with his favorite pie just so I could wash it,” Mary giggled.

“I didn’t know Dean had such a fascination with mutant turtle ninjas,” Cas replied.

 _Teenage mutant ninja turtles,_ Dean thought to himself, _and they are awesome._

“Yeah he did." Mary said, then a few moments later added, "When Dean loves something, he makes it pretty obvious.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably behind the door. Cas might have missed the implications behind his mom’s words, but he didn’t. Does she know about his feelings for Cas? There's no way she could. She's only seen them interact once.

Not sure if he was willing to let this conversation to go any further, Dean walked into the room. Cas looked up from the griddle and gave Dean a warm smile.

“Good morning honey, I was just talking to Cas about you,” Mary glanced at him and quickly turned back to flipping the bacon.

“You better not have told him any embarrassing stories about me,” Dean walked over to her and kissed the top of her head.

“It’s okay, Dean. She just told me about how you used to wear a mutant turtle ninja mask around your house and wouldn’t take it off.” Cas looked at Dean with innocent eyes. Dean knew that look. That’s a look Cas makes when he’s hiding something.

Dean smirked. Two can play this game.

“First, it's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And second, Michelangelo is badass. Every kid wanted to be him,” Dean sat down at the table. “Speaking of embarrassing stories, Mom do you wanna hear the story of how I took Cas to a brothel and he almost shit himself?” Cas eyes went wide then immediately flickered to something more dark. Uh oh.

Mary stopped cooking breakfast to watch the two boys. They were staring at each other, Dean raised his eyebrows tauntingly.

Cas leaned back in his chair and shrugged his shoulders. "I suppose after that story we could talk about that one time you got drunk and made me drive you to Victoria's Secret so you could try on underwear and do your own runway show."

 _Shit._ That was a low blow and Cas knew it. That was one time, and while he enjoyed it, he didn't want his mom to know about it. Dean wanted to slap that smug little face of his right off. Instead, he flipped him the bird. Cas would pay for that later. 

“Um, that’s okay sweetheart. I actually wanted to talk about something else,” Mary watched as Dean turned away from Cas and crossed his arms dramatically. “I want to know how you guys met.”

The room suddenly went tense. Dean and Cas looked at each other, not knowing what to say or how to approach the question.

“It’s…that's uh...kind of a long story,” Dean said.

“That’s okay, I have time. After we eat breakfast you guys can tell me everything.”

It took them about an hour to eat breakfast and clean the kitchen, it would have been less had Dean and Cas not bickered over who made better bacon, Mary or Biggerson’s. _"I can't believe you think Biggerson's has better bacon. It's too fatty!" "That's why I like it more, Dean." "You're insufferable." "As are you."_

“Alright, alright. If you guys are done fighting, come sit down," Mary rolled her eyes playfully as Dean and Cas grabbed their seats. "So tell me, how did you guys meet?”

Dean nudged Cas on the shoulder. So Cas answered first. “My garrison was in charge of rescuing Dean from Hell.” Mary gasped and looked at Dean.

He huffed a short breath. “It took you guys long enough. I was in Hell for 40 years before he came and pulled my ass out. Cas saved my life though, and that wasn’t the only time.”

They talked for hours. They talked about the apocalypse, Sam’s trip to the cage, Cas’ time as God and as a leviathan. They talked about Charlie and Kevin. The ignored Dean's time as a demon and Sam's time without a soul. Some things Mary just didn't need to know. They briefly mentioned Purgatory. That was something both Cas and Dean weren’t ready to talk about just yet, at least not in detail.

Mary was horrified at the amount of pain and suffering her sons have gone through in their lifetime. She couldn’t help but feel responsible for all of this. Dean’s once childish innocence and joy has been twisted into depression and guilt. She saw how broken both of them are as they relive the memories. They aren’t all bad though. She knew that much. Every time she saw Dean look at Cas some of that joy returns. She wondered how much is missing from these stories, how much is being left unsaid.

"I'm gonna go shower. I'll be back down in a bit," Dean gave Cas one more small, grateful smile and headed off toward his room.

“Thank you, Cas.” Mary sniffed.

Cas tilted his head. “For what?”

“For looking after my sons when I couldn’t. They have had a terrible life. You of all people know that. But you give them hope, I can see it in Dean's eyes. I don’t know if you see it, but the way he looks at you…” she paused, “it’s the same way I looked at John.”

Cas closed his eyes. He felt like crying.

“I will never be able to repay you for what you have done, but I want you to know that I am just as much your mother as I am Sam and Dean’s. If you ever need to talk, I will be here.” She grabbed Cas’ hand and held it tightly.

“Thank you, Mrs. Winchester. Your sons are great men. I am proud to call them my friends. I promise I will bring Sam back home safely so you guys can be a family again.”

“You know that family includes you, Cas”.

And with that, Cas sobbed.

\--

Dean was making his bed as he heard a knock on the door. “Come in.”

Mary walked in, holding a cup of tea. “Honey, do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, mom. What do you need?” Dean asked.

“I just wanted to talk.” She sat down on the edge of Dean’s bed, patting the space next to her. “How are you, Dean?”

“I’m good. I’m great. The shower helped a lot, might go back downstairs to see if there’s any more bacon,” Dean knew that wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

Mary glared at him. “Dean…”

“I’m…I don’t know. Sam’s gone. I have no idea where he is and as far as I know he still thinks I’m dead. Who knows what that person could have done to him.” Dean rubbed his hands together nervously.

“The only thing that is keeping me from going crazy is that Cas said she is human. And I know Sam is smart enough to not let a human kill his dumb ass.” He laughed humorlessly. Sam was smart. He's fought everything in the monster handbook. There's no way a human could defeat him. Still, it didn't do much to calm Dean down.

“I know you and Cas will find him. He seemed pretty certain Sam will be okay.” Mary reassured him, though Dean could tell she was just as worried. She changed the subject. “So what else is on your mind?”

“Nothing.” Dean fidgeted in his seat.

“Sure doesn’t seem like nothing,” Mary replied, eyebrows raised.

“It’s not…" Dean sighed. "I-I almost lost Cas this year. It sure seemed like it was gonna happen and I wouldn’t get to say a proper goodbye. And now I have him back, and I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m so damn stupid. I pushed him away to the point where he thought getting possessed by Lucifer would be the only way he’d be worth something to me. I don’t deserve his friendship, and yet he keeps coming back. I’m going to break him one day. I break everything I touch.” Dean cried. He never told anyone this. He's feared every interaction he's had with Cas for the last few years. There's the constant worry that there will never be enough time, or he'll finally get the chance and ruin everything. Every conversation could be their last. He doesn't want to risk anything.

“You two have been through a lot together. But if I know one thing, it’s that if you are with him, he will never break.” It pained Mary to see Dean like this. He exudes confidence and pride, but underneath that shell he is so broken and unsure. It breaks her heart.

“I don’t deserve him. He deserves so much more than what I can give him.”

“I think you should let Cas decide that.” She placed her hand on top of Dean’s. “I love you so much, sweetheart. I hate seeing you talk about yourself like that. You are kind and selfless. You are just as beautiful as you were as a child. And you deserve happiness too.”

Dean smiled softly as new tears formed. After all these years, he finally believed it.

\--

Dean found Cas in the library, studying a book about summoning spells. He looked so peaceful.

“Hey Cas.”

“Hello Dean.” Cas set his book down. “What’s wrong?”

Dean laughed bitterly. Of course Cas would think the only time Dean would want to talk to him would be if something’s wrong. He mentally kicked himself for what seemed like the fiftieth time today.

“Nothing’s wrong, Cas. Just came to see if you wanted to go on a drive.”

“Are we out of food?”

“No.”  


“Are we out of beer?”

“No.”

“Do you need gas?”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dammit Cas, no. I don’t need anything. I just wanted to go on a drive with you.”

Cas looked at him suspiciously. “Okay. Let me go get my trench coat.”

The sun was already setting when Dean and Cas started driving. The radio was off but that didn’t stop Dean from tapping his fingers across the steering wheel nervously. His mind was going a thousand miles per hour.

 _Jesus Dean pull yourself together, this is your best friend. You love him._ Dean thought. He slammed on the brakes.

 _Holy shit._ Dean thought. _I love him._

“Dammit.” Dean pulled the car over onto the side of the road.

“Something wrong Dean?” Cas looked worried.

“No. No. I am just stupid.”

“You’re not stupid, Dean.”

Dean laughed. What did he do to deserve someone like Cas?

"What's so funny?' Cas furrowed his eyebrows, not finding any of this amusing.

"You, Cas." Dean turned his body toward Cas and sighed. 

“I don’t understand-“

“I love you, Cas."

“Dean-“ Cas' mouth fell open.

“No Cas, let me finish,” Dean took Cas’ hand. “You gave me something to believe in. I was a fool for not admitting it sooner. You make me want to be a better hunter, a better brother and a better person. God I love you. I’ve loved you for a while. I was just too scared of losing you.”

Cas started crying. “Oh Dean I-“

“I want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me. You deserve the world and I plan on giving it to you. There's so much I want to do with you. I want to take you out shopping for new clothes and slow dance with you while we listen to cheesy romantic songs.”

“DEAN.”

Dean realized he was rambling and stopped to look up at Cas.

“I love you, too.” Cas pressed his lips against Dean’s and melted in his arms.

_Finally._


End file.
